The Salt Line, Vol. 14: A Snake, A Sunken Boat, and Geoffrey the Giraffe's Triumphant Return
Welcome back to The Salt Line — the Gulf Coast news roundup typed with one hand because the other one is holding a coffee that’s slowly going to room temperature. Volume 14. We’ve survived this long. Let’s get into the week.
⚾ The Blue Wahoos Have Discovered the Comeback and Cannot Be Stopped
A couple weeks back in Vol. 12, I gently noted that our beloved Pensacola Blue Wahoos were being, and I quote myself, “haunted.” Well, scrub all that, because the fish have located their spine. They overcame a six-run deficit for their SECOND straight comeback win, beating Chattanooga 12-9. Two nights in a row of “we are absolutely cooked” turning into “actually we win.” This is no longer a baseball team. This is a motivational poster that occasionally plays defense. I retract every concerned thing I said. The Wahoos are thriving. Somebody alert the mosquitoes — they’ve got competition for most relentless force on the Gulf Coast.
🐍 A Snake Attended the Flora-Bama and Frankly Had Better Stage Presence Than Most
During an afternoon beach set by local musician Ryan Balthrop, a snake made an unannounced guest appearance at the Flora-Bama, slithering through the sand to the visible delight of absolutely no one. Balthrop, to his enormous credit, grabbed his phone and filmed it rather than relocating to a different state, which is what I would have done. Look — at the Flora-Bama, this barely cracks the top ten weirdest things to show up during a Tuesday afternoon. A snake is comparatively well-behaved. It didn’t order a Bushwacker. It didn’t try to throw a bra over a rafter. It came, it slithered, it left. Most professional act on the bill.
🧸 Geoffrey the Giraffe Rises Again, This Time in Baldwin County
In news that healed something in my inner child, Toys “R” Us is reinventing itself and returning to Alabama — the first store in Baldwin County and the first in coastal Alabama since the chain went bankrupt over eight years ago. Geoffrey the Giraffe, presumed gone forever, has apparently been doing cardio and is back. I don’t want to be dramatic, but a giraffe defeating bankruptcy is the most inspiring comeback story of the week, and I say that in a week where the Blue Wahoos came back twice. Welcome home, big guy. The kids of Baldwin County have no idea what’s coming, and neither do their parents’ wallets.
🚢 We Are Sinking an Entire Casino Boat on Purpose
A 408-foot former casino riverboat out of Indiana is about to be sunk off the coast of Orange Beach to become an artificial reef. Let me sit with that. A boat where people once lost their mortgages playing slots is going to spend eternity as luxury condos for grouper. The house, as they say, always wins — and now the house is literally underwater, full of fish, exactly as the metaphor always promised. Honestly a beautiful retirement for a vessel. From “blackjack at 2 a.m.” to “premier snapper habitat.” We should all be so lucky to find that kind of second act.
📻 The Ham Radio Folks Are Out There Practicing for the End of the World
Local amateur radio operators gathered at the Escambia County Emergency Operations Center this weekend for the annual ARRL Field Day, a 24-hour exercise in emergency communications and public service. I love these people. While the rest of us were melting at the beach, the HAM crowd was running drills for the day every other form of communication fails and you suddenly, desperately need a guy named Dale with a roof antenna and a callsign. And here’s the thing — when the hurricane knocks the cell towers out, Dale is going to be the most important man in the county. Respect the HAMs. Be nice to the HAMs. The HAMs will save us.
👶 Baldwin County Keeps Growing, Silverhill Leads the Charge
New U.S. Census data shows a population boom in Baldwin County, with Silverhill growing particularly fast. Everyone, it seems, has independently discovered what we already knew: it’s pretty great over here. The secret is out, the moving trucks are rolling in, and Silverhill — a town a lot of folks couldn’t find on a map two years ago — is now the new hotness. Welcome, newcomers. The beaches are gorgeous, the sunsets are free, and yes, the Fourth of July traffic is exactly as bad as the locals warned you. You’ll fit right in.
That’s your week, Gulf Coast. The fish are winning, the snakes are auditioning, the giraffe is back, and an entire casino is about to become a fish hotel. See you next week — I’ll be the one waving at the HAM radio guy.
— Chris