The Salt Line, Vol. 26: Bees Under an Umbrella, Jets Over the Beach, and Foley Declares It December
Welcome back to The Salt Line, volume 26, written from a porch where the thermometer and I are no longer on speaking terms. It’s mid-July on the Gulf Coast, which means everyone — the pilots, the bees, the city of Foley — has started negotiating with the calendar directly. Let’s get into it.
✈️ The Air Show Looked at July and Said “Earlier, Actually”
The Santa Rosa Island Authority has announced an earlier start and an expanded lineup for next week’s Pensacola Beach Air Show, running July 17–18 with military aircraft, historic warbirds, and elite aerobatic performers. Note the phrase earlier start. Even the people whose entire job is flying jet aircraft at several hundred miles an hour took one look at a July afternoon out over the Gulf and said, you know what, let’s move this up. These are professionals who routinely pull multiple Gs, and the 2 p.m. sun defeated them at the scheduling meeting. Remember that detail — it’s going to come up again.
🐝 The Bees Have Entered the Rental Market
Swarms of honeybees have been spotted on the beaches in Orange Beach and Gulf Shores this month, and earlier this week a swarm settled directly onto a beach umbrella in Gulf Shores, prompting the news to bring in an actual expert to explain the behavior. I’m just going to report the facts here, because the facts need no help from me: several thousand bees looked at the entire Alabama coastline and selected, as their staging area, one family’s rented shade. No bidding war. No waitlist. They simply arrived at 10 a.m. and took the umbrella, which — and I say this with respect — is the single most tourist move I have ever seen an insect make.
⚾ The Wahoos Have Decided Winning Normally Is for Cowards
The Pensacola Blue Wahoos won their fourth straight game Thursday night on a walk-off single from Cristian Hernández, beating the Montgomery Biscuits 4-3. That’s their third late-inning comeback in a row and their second walk-off in three games, and I don’t think this team knows other kinds of wins exist anymore. They could be up six runs in the fourth and they’d find a way to hand it back just to feel something in the ninth. Four in a row is a genuine heater and Hernández is a genuine hero — I’d just like one game, one, that doesn’t require the entire ballpark to breathe into a bag.
🖥️ Santa Rosa County Would Like Twelve Months to Think About It; Residents Countered With “Forever”
Santa Rosa County held the first of two public hearings on a proposed 12-month moratorium on large-scale data centers, where commissioners heard from residents pressing them to skip the moratorium and go straight to an outright ban. I love this negotiation. The county, cautiously: “What if we paused for one year to study the issue?” The public, immediately: “What if the year never ends.” There will be a second hearing, presumably so residents can clarify whether “never” was strong enough language the first time.
🚛 The Bay Center Is Getting a Dirt Floor, On Purpose
On July 25 and 26, the Pensacola Bay Center will be converted into a dirt track for Monster Jam, featuring world-champion drivers in 12,000-pound trucks. Twelve. Thousand. Pounds. For scale, that is three and a half of the sedans currently circling the beach access lots — stacked, and then launched off a ramp indoors while a building full of people scream approvingly. Somebody’s job this month is to truck an entire dirt landscape into an arena, and somebody else’s job in August is to sweep it all back out. Both of those people deserve a parade.
🎄 Foley Has Simply Opted Out of July
And finally: Foley Main Street is throwing a Christmas in July celebration for its Third Thursday event, July 16, throughout downtown Foley. The air show pilots moved their start time. The bees found shade. Foley went further than everybody: confronted with the hottest month of the year, the town has elected to pretend it is December. This is not denial. This is policy. And honestly, in the spirit of the season — which is apparently now — I hope it works. May your Third Thursday be merry, Foley, and may the heat index respect the bit.
That’s the week, friends: the jets rescheduled around July, the bees seized shade by force, and Foley abolished the month altogether. At this rate the Wahoos are the only ones down here still playing anything out to the final inning. See you next week — I’ll be under the umbrella, assuming it’s not already taken.
— Chris
