The Salt Line, Vol. 11: Ships, Bikes, and a Man Who Has Outlived Your Excuses
Welcome back to The Salt Line — the only news roundup on the Gulf Coast that will read you your own local headlines back to you and make it feel like a punishment you deserve. It’s Vol. 11, the water at Perdido Bay is clear again, and somewhere out there a man who survived World War II is judging every single one of your life choices. Let’s get into it.
13-5. THIRTEEN TO FIVE. We Have Notes.
Look, the Pensacola Blue Wahoos dropped a 13-5 gut-punch to the Chattanooga Lookouts on Wednesday, and the headline is that one Ruben Ibarra hit two three-run home runs in the same game. Two. Three-run home runs. Our guys hit three solo homers and still lost by eight. That is the baseball equivalent of bringing a lovely charcuterie board to a gunfight. The Wahoos are named after a fish that can swim 60 miles per hour, and they were outrun by a team called the Lookouts. Whose whole thing is standing still and watching. The Gulf Coast demands answers. The Gulf Coast will not receive them.
The E-Bike Menace Terrorizes a City Park (Allegedly)
Bayview Park is getting chewed up by e-bikes — tire tracks everywhere, dirt paths carved through green space — and Pensacola is now moving to curb them while the state tightens the rules. This is the natural arc of every new technology on the Gulf Coast: someone invents it, tourists discover it, and eighteen months later it’s illegal in a park. We did it with Segways. We did it with those rental scooters. The e-bike simply had a longer run. I respect the hustle. Somewhere, a Bird Scooter is watching from a drainage ditch and feeling deeply vindicated.
A Hundred Years Old and Presumably Still Annoyed by All of Us
WWII veteran Charley Pritchett of Pensacola turned 100 years old this week and celebrated at Azalea Trace surrounded by friends and family. He credits his health and longevity, which — and I cannot stress this enough — means a man who served in the Second World War has been healthy longer than most of us have been alive. While we are out here googling “why is my knee doing that thing,” Charley Pritchett is at 100 years and describing himself as fortunate. Fortunate! Sir, you are not fortunate, you are winning. Happy birthday, Mr. Pritchett. You are the entire Gulf Coast’s bar and we are not clearing it.
Two Thousand Jobs. Five Hundred of Them Absolutely Paying More Than Mine.
Birdon Shipbuilding is coming to the Port of Pensacola with a promise of 2,000 jobs — including 500-plus six-figure roles. The Gulf Coast shipbuilding corridor now runs from Gulfport to Mobile to Pensacola, which means this entire region has quietly become the place where the boats come from. We build the ships. We built the ships in the war Charley Pritchett fought in. We are very into boats here. The Wahoos, unfortunately, remain 8 runs down and unavailable for comment.
The Bay Is Clean, Baywatch Is Back On
The swim advisory for Perdido Bay at Kee Avenue has been lifted and health officials confirm the water quality is again good. This is genuinely the best news in the column — go get in the water, you’ve earned it. Just maybe take a kayak, not an e-bike.
It was a big week on the coast: one man proved mortality is optional, one shortstop proved home runs come in pairs, and the park grass proved it cannot take a Class 2 motor. Same time next week.
— Sully