Sand in the Coffee, Vol. 129: the fish cleaning table, and how to watch without getting in the way
Put the phone down for a second and look at the guy with the knife. He is not in a hurry, and he is not going to be. That is the first thing you learn at a fish cleaning table: the person at the board is working, the gulls are working harder, and you are the only one there on vacation.
You do not have to fish to enjoy this. The cleaning table at a marina or charter dock is one of the best free shows on the coast, and almost nobody who is not a fisherman knows to go. Here is how to do it without becoming the person everyone quietly steps around.
when to go
Charter boats generally come back in the afternoon, so the cleaning starts in the mid to late afternoon and runs until the last boat is done. Timing is a guess, since a good day runs long and a slow day runs short. Call the marina first. After the storm, schedules and docks may differ from what you remember, and a phone call beats watching an empty dock. /fishing/ is a decent place to start for what is biting and what the water looks like.
where to stand
- Stay back from the board. A fillet knife and a wet deck are a bad combination for your sandals, and the person using it did not come to explain themselves.
- Stand to the side, not behind. Pelicans and gulls will crowd the other side of the table, and they are not shy about it.
- Keep kids close and keep hands in pockets. The fish are slippery and the fish heads are, to a six-year-old, irresistible.
- Do not touch the fish, the knives, or the buckets unless somebody hands you something.
what to ask
Locals like questions, but the right ones. Skip “what is that one?” and try these:
- “What did you catch it on?” That is a real question with a real answer.
- “Is that one good eating?” Most people will tell you exactly how they cook it.
- “How big does that one get?” Folks like to talk about the ones that got away.
If a mate is working fast, wait for a lull. A pause is an invitation. A pile of fish is a deadline.
the tip, and the fish
If you are on a charter, the crew who clean your catch are usually tipped, and it is customary to do so. If you are only watching, a thank-you and a nod is plenty. And if somebody offers you a fillet, take it, say thanks, and ask how to cook it. It is the best seafood you will have all week, and the person offering has been waiting all day to be asked.
the birds, and the one rule
The pelicans will stand near the table like they pay rent. Do not feed them. It is illegal in some places, bad for the birds everywhere, and it turns a quiet dock into a mob. Watch them instead; they are better than anything on television.
Go late afternoon, stand back, ask one good question, and take the fillet if it comes. It is a better hour than most things you will pay for.
— Chris
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